To the Idiot with One Headlight

Thanks for the laugh. 

For the rest of you who weren’t there, allow me to explain.  Last night I was on my way home from sword practice.  At one point, the highway turns from 55 mph to 65 mph.  Ahead of me I could see a car dodging and weaving around the other light traffic.  Eventually, I passed him, but apparently it was the unholiest of sins to be passed.  He decided (with one headlight out), to try to block me in where the highway goes from three lanes to two lanes.  I managed to get a head of him, but this only seemed to make him angrier.  It was at this point that he decided to sit in my blind spot.

Now, I’m not one for road rage, but human idiocy bothers me.  I tend to enjoy messing with people who are idiots on the road.  If you are swerving in and out of traffic at crazy speeds, I’m going to block you in.  If you are going to ride my ass, I’m going to slow down, or if the opportunity arises, match speed with another car and block you in.  Not only was this guy too dim to realize that he had a headlight out, but he felt the need to speed up and ride my blind spot.  This is what I call a “clinger.”  They drive pretty slow until they get passed and then “OH NOES! I CAN’T BE PASSED!!!one!”  Then they speed up to match your speed (One of my pet peeves).  Well, I decided I would teach this idiot a lesson.

As he continued to ride my blind spot, I tried speeding up to get around him.  He continued to match my speed, so I slowed down just a bit, letting him think he was going to pass me. Up ahead there is a curve that gradually turns 90 degrees to our right, and another car in the left lane.  I sped up, got around him and in the right lane, and then matched the speed of the car in the left lane.  I pulled up enough that the car could see I was beside them (I wasn’t about to ride in this car’s blind spot).  The idiot with one headlight went absolutely apeshit at this point, swerving back and forth between the two lanes, flashing his single headlight at us.  The car in the right lane must have been amused because he did not alter his speed in the slightest.  We stayed at about 70 mph.  For three miles, the idiot with one headlight tailgated both of us with probably only a foot or two between our back bumpers and his front bumper.  At this point I was laughing and enjoying torturing the idiot, but my off-ramp came.  The guy decided to tailgate me, so I clicked my blinker and slammed on my breaks.  By an act of God he didn’t hit me.

It was dark so I didn’t get to see how old this driver was, but I’m assuming from the actions it was a young male driver.  The only consolation I have is that he probably was so pissed off that he floored it to 80 and up ahead there was a construction zone.  Maybe he got a ticket. Maybe two (one for headlight and one for speeding). Karma’s a cruel mistress.

I’m not usually an asshole, but sometimes it’s fun to mess with people, especially when they are being an idiot in a big metal box that could kill me.